Elisabelle St-Hilaire
"One day, I decided that I was ready to open up, so I told my friend that I had a prosthetic eye. He responded by saying he had never noticed my eye but that I had tiny nostrils. This made me realize that I had been overly self conscious for nothing. Phew!"
My name is Elisabelle St-Hilaire, I am 28 years old and I live in Montreal! I am currently working as an ocularist in Montreal, Ottawa as well as Kingston in Canada.
Today, I wanted to share my story with you. When I was two and a half years old, I was diagnosed with retinoblastoma, and I had to have my eye removed. As a toddler, I remember feeling scared to look at myself in the mirror after being enucleated. Receiving my first prosthetic eye was truly amazing.
During my childhood, I believe I was in denial about my prosthetic eye. I did not want to think about it, I did not want to look at it and I certainly did not want to talk about it. I simply wanted to play, go to school and do gymnastics.
However, as I entered my teenage years, I felt like I needed to address the fact that I was a little bit different from other kids. It was a challenging time for me, and I struggled with self-acceptance. One day, I decided that I was ready to open up, so I told my friend that I had a prosthetic eye. He responded by saying he had never noticed my eye but that I had tiny nostrils. This made me realize that I had been overly self conscious for nothing. Phew!
Around the same time, I had a prosthetic eye made by Marie-France Clermont in Ottawa and I found myself deeply drawn to the process of creating these artificial eyes. As a result, I developed a dream of pursuing a career as an ocularist.
A few years went on and my reverie remained the same. I began involving myself more with support groups which were essential to my personal development and self acceptance.
I continued to take care of my eye by having corrective surgeries, having my prostheses adjusted and polished as per necessary. And every time I saw Ms. Clermont, I expressed my interest in wanting to become an ocularistry intern.
Upon finishing my undergrad in health sciences, I was finally offered an apprenticeship as an ocularist. I felt so relieved, happy and special. I felt like my life long journey finally made sense and that I was exactly where I belonged.
As an ocularist, I vow to always give empathetic care, to listen to my patients and to try to support them in any way that I can. I also want to push the ocularistry profession to new heights such as by trying to apply 3D technology to our work. I also promise to be a voice for people who walk down my path. My current effort involves advocating for prosthetic eye wearers and urging RAMQ (Québec health insurance) to update their ocular prosthetics program to meet the specific needs of Quebecois patients with a more extensive program.
If you are experiencing eye or vision loss, my advice would be to practice self compassion, and to take advantage of all the support groups available. Take the time that you need to adjust to vision loss and always see your glass as half full rather than half empty.
