Lawrence (LJ) Sanders
“People are curious by nature but may not always know how to approach you with a question and sometimes their questions or comments can unintentionally come across as rude or make you feel uncomfortable. Learn to not take the looks and questions about your eye so personally.”
My name is Lawrence (LJ) Sanders, I’m 22 years old and a soon to be graduate from Middle Tennessee State University in video and film production this Spring. I am A hip hop artist, show writer, videographer and I love philosophy. I like to play sports such as boxing & basketball and I love fantasy mystical adventure shows and generally any shows with drama and action (thrillers).
When I was 16 months old, I ran into a bed frame and cut my right eye, leading to retina detachment. Although my right eye is blind, I’m grateful it does not need to be removed.
The biggest challenge I have had to face with my ocular adversity is overcoming judgement by my peers. Growing up and in school, it was basically impossible to not be self conscious about my eye because everyday people reminded me of it and it was the worst feeling ever. Overcoming the allusion of wanting to be normal and obtaining love and acceptance from everyone was extremely hard. Accepting myself for who I am and what I look like has been the hardest thing I have had to do. This, and also realizing there is nothing wrong with my appearance and that I don’t need “fixing”.
When I was a kid, I used to only take pictures and selfies of half of my face out of fear and judgement of others. I had difficulty looking at photographs because it was obvious that one eye wasn’t “normal”- it was too uncomfortable for me. I remember looking in the mirror and always trying to make sure my prosthetic lense looked straight. Taking photos with others and seeing my prosthetic lense look off in a different direction used to destroy me. And when people told me that I don’t look any different made it worse because deep down I knew that wasn’t true.
My advice to others would be to accept that you are different but know that doesn’t mean you are less than anyone else. Understand both of your eyes will never look the same and that’s just how it is. Even if you have a really good prosthetic lense, there eventually will be someone who notices. People are curious by nature but may not always know how to approach you with a question and sometimes their questions or comments can unintentionally come across as rude or make you feel uncomfortable. Learn to not take the looks and questions about your eye so personally.
One of the biggest steps I have taken to accept my eye injury was when I decided to stop wearing my lense. When I began doing this, it’s as if I saw myself as a different person because for most of my life, I wore a lense to conceal my injured eye. Making this decision in 2020 was not easy, in fact it was a difficult and emotional decision but one that has helped me understand and appreciate who I am and what I actually look like. Lastly, I want to share with others: Accept what has happened to you but also know it is okay to express your frustration with the injury. Never feel bad about it. Get all the anger and sadness out of your system and move forward!
